As you may have gathered from the title, it was indeed a rough night in the world of Gowri yesterday.
Last night I had an episode of Random Onset Girl Tears. Yes, and I will be the first on the internet to admit that I, like all other females out there am victim to this condition. This all-consuming, defining state of life which haunts us from time to time. Now, anyone belonging to the male species who may have been fortunate enough to stumble upon this post today, go make yourself a nice hot brew, come sit back down and let me break this down for you, my fair, innocent child.
I am going to add great amounts of clarity to your life with the knowledge I am about to impart.
Random Onset Girl Tears (ROGT) are a completely normal aspect of every girl/woman’s life, beginning somewhere after puberty and ending… well, I wouldn’t know since I’m only in my twenties and have very little worthy life experience and am nowhere near qualified to preach anything, but probably until we’re ancient or dead. Sometimes, we cry. A lot. It usually happens at night when no one is around but if you have shit enough luck that you have a girlfriend, sister, mother, or maybe one of those ‘girl best friends’ who you’re pretending is just your friend while you actually have sickening thoughts about one another, and then they burst into tears sometime between 11pm and 1am, this is a highly normal episode. A lot of this is related to the fact that hormones are swimming through our bloodstreams at various times across the month. And some of it isn’t. Sometimes, we just want to cry alone without being judged for why the hell we’re crying (because usually we are trying to figure this out ourselves, then when we can’t we feel utterly lost, leading to a fresh wave of tears. Vicious cycle, boys, don’t get involved). My best advice is just to leave your crying female alone. They have shit to figure out right now and this is all part of the figuring out process so just give them time and they’ll give you everything again. Chocolate helps 95% of the time (unless the crying has been triggered by one of those ‘Why am I so fat?’ moments, in which case, don’t even go there unless you want a death sentence).
Sometimes ROGT can be triggered by the most random things. Hence the name. A text you really didn’t mean to send and has been interpreted in an entirely different manner by your female counterpart (as much as we say we don’t read into things, of course we take you at face value, no baby, I believe you… we read into things), tadpoles of insecurity that chose this particular Thursday night to blossom into freaking frogs, that extra piece of cake you ate today when you really shouldn’t have (God, Gowri have you looked in the mirror since 2010?), something crappy happening at work, uni, school… the list is endless. Usually on such nights we have some baseline lacing of insecurity that makes the things that we normally know we can handle un-handleable. And at times, the natural girl response manifests itself as relentless tears.
But why are girl tears so normal? Well, let me try and explain. See… we cry because it’s all part of this process of some kind of acceptance. Some kind of progression. We cry because we need to let off steam. We cry alone because we’re scared that the reason we’re crying might be conceived as totally ridiculous by anyone else (boys… it is never ridiculous).
You know why I cried last night? Some sort of realisation just whacked me on the head like the holy boulder of truth. I realised that everything around me is changing. We all know this… impermanence is, after all the only constant in life, but it really hit me yesterday. In three weeks time I start 4th year. That’s a hell of a big change. So many of my friends are graduating now and getting jobs while I’m still stuck doing this thankless degree. A certain male in my life is moving to another city for exactly that reason. How am I going to cope with all these changes?! Of course… people are changing around me too. That happens in any kind of relationship, whether it’s with your parents, your friends, your boy/girlfriend. And sometimes the changes that become of them get really hard to accept (Have you ever been with someone for a long time and then thought at the end of it… jeez, that’s not the person I fell in love with! Well no, it won’t be because they will change and grow and evolve, such is the fascinatingly dynamic nature of human behaviour). Of course, change is also exciting. It’s fun. Being thrown out of your comfort zone is often what it takes to discover something wild and brilliant about yourself. But last night the changes going on around me didn’t seem fun or exciting, they seemed daunting and scary. So I cried. I cried until my pillow was soaked from all the goddamn tears. Hell, I took a bathroom trip because I was Queen Snotface at that point in time.
Does this make me crazy? (At the time, believe me, you think you’re losing it) Does this make me a weak person? Does this mean I’m not going to be able to handle those changes that are all about to come crashing down my road in the next few weeks? No. It means I’m normal. It means I’ve just started this whole process of acceptance and sometimes there may be a few episodes of ROGT needed to get me there.
So girls, the next time you find yourself in a pool of your own tears, embrace it! Embrace the fact that you’re growing and evolving and becoming more and more wonderful than you already are every time you think you’re going crazy. And boys, these are the hot messes that you let into your life upon your own free will. But they are beautiful and amazing. So let them cry their pretty little eyes out. Don’t freak out, and don’t get too involved. They’re strong. They’ll figure it out.
Love to all you crazy people out there!
Disclaimer: If you are crying all the time with very little reason, and perhaps are constantly feeling under the weather, you’re losing your interest in the things around you and you’re finding yourself not wanting to face the day, these could be signs of something a little more serious than what I have spoken about on here. If that is the case, this was written without any intention to hurt or offend a soul, and I do suggest that you do look into getting a bit more help somewhere else.