Thoughts & Musings

Hotchpotch

hotchpotch

NOUN

‘A confused mixture.’
– Oxford English Dictionary
  • Isn’t it utterly ridiculous how your own mind has the power to convince you so thoroughly? Leonardo di Caprio (fine gentleman that he is) says it beautifully in the movie ‘Inception’. He says ” An idea is like a virus, resilient, highly contagious. The smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define or destroy you.” This is true of more than just inception, right? It’s true of belief. Belief is such a funny thing- it’s the end result of power hungry thought consumption. Real talk: there is this belief I have about not being good enough that has risen angrily to power once more and chipping away at it feels like I’m crawling through Mordor (two movie references already? Bonus points) except my burden is this total lack of self acceptance.
  • Despite fear of sounding like a total douchebag… it literally boggles my mind how there are some wordpress bloggers who can’t string a sentence together with half the vigour I can but have such tremendous following. Good thing I write out of love.
  • I paid WordPress a generous amount of money (okay, not that generous) after much deliberation so I could get my own internet domain. I think this makes me a serious blogger? No, not really. I think we can conclude that blogging isn’t a passing phase but an actual, legitimate, instagram bio-worthy pastime.
  • TAKE THIS PERSONALITY TEST: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test. It’s so accurate that it’s scary.
  • So does anyone else have it where you’re in a relationship and you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore because your essence has fucking merged with your partner’s? Bloody hotchpotch. I have this. I literally hear his voice telling me to get out of the middle lane on the motorway and I can’t remember whether it’s me who hates middle lane cruisers or him. This is not a comfortable place for a person who is crawling (?cruising) through Mordor.
  • I am now directly addressing you. I am so glad you’re in my life in every way. Your presence is everything. I love you to no end. My poor heart is more wasted on you than you are on a night out with your friends. I know you despise that phrase. I think I hate middle lane cruisers too.
  • I was right about medschool all along. It was shit. Having a job is so much better. Let me tell you right now that humans were designed to have a purpose and when the vileness of medschool sucks that purpose away from you like the dementor it is, you lie there on the cold Azkaban floor, weeping at your misplacement on ward 12. And then this thing happens where overnight, you’re allowed to sign your name on a prescription and suddenly EXPECTO PATRONUM BITCHES, I’M A DOCTOR, COME AT ME WITH ALL THE ADMINISTRATIVE, BEAUROCRATIC CRAP YOU WANT ME TO DO AND I’LL DO IT WITH A SMILE ‘CAUSE IT’S STILL BETTER THAN BEING THE SPARE PART ON WARD 12.
  • God, I really am a nerd.
  • Simple clues exist in your life as to how much you value yourself. When I stay up until ridiculous-o-clock, on the phone, knowing I have to get up early and making a habit of it… I’m not really valuing myself very well. Food for thought.
  • So I have a friend who loves to bake. She does not just love to bake but she is a Pâtissière. For those less acquainted with the French language, that translates to Pastry Chef. From Le Cordon Bleu. Years ago, I convinced her to set up an instagram account for her beautiful pieces of culinary, confection perfection. Now she’s a goddamn rockstar and you can follow her here: @amee_bakes.
  • I also have a friend who can put a thrifty outfit together like nothing I have ever seen in my life. As a person with an alarmingly poor and predictable fashion sense, I have a personal incentive to lure her into my wardrobe in a non-creepy way and force her to turn me into a goddess. This incentive (and her minor talent) in mind, I too co-erced her into creating an instagram account because I am the root of all success. You can find her here: @forwardthinkingfashion.
  • If anyone thinks I should quit medicine and pursue a career in shameless promotion, you can find me right here, in my bed wearing my pyjamas, contact lenses slightly drying my eyes and with a sore throat emerging.
  • I think my relationship with my mum is on the mend. Yesterday, there was this really beautiful moment in my house where I was lounging on the sofa with a cup of earl grey, still in my work clothes watching ‘Mama Mia’ with my sister. My mum walked in, wearing her dressing gown and a towel on her head and plonked herself down with us because she loves the last scene, where Julie Walters sings ‘Take a chance on me’. It wasn’t long before the three of us burst into full blown Abba, belting out the song with absolute fucking gusto. It was glorious. I love my family (and earl grey).

Hotchpotches don’t have conclusions.

Goodnight all.

G xoxo

 

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