gowrinair1

Cravings

I crave the sweet music of women who circle as I inhale fresh gulps of summer until my lungs expand with abundant joy. I want to run through fields of wild flowers, dropping loops of consciousness beneath multicoloured skies. In my dreams I fly to red rocks and harmonise with souls who retreat alongside mine.Continue reading “Cravings”

Peas

‘These will not be the rantings of a chaotic mind’, she tells herself, fully aware that she’s spewing lies. Some reflections on the past week in words; Exhaustion– Earlier this week, I did a writing workshop with Rupi Kaur on instagram live and she asked us to free-write based on 12 different prompts. Exhaustion wasContinue reading “Peas”

Wild

My hair is short. My life: abundant. Joy tickles my skin. If fear is the fabric of a day like today then I will stitch it with faith as I leave it at your feet. Because of you- my laughter is thick and my soul; alive. My feet are the roots that grow deep inContinue reading “Wild”

The hump is over

Folks, The worst bit is well and truly over. The last three months were heavy with dark skies accompanying dark moods. Dense lumps of metaphorical lead would constrict my ribcage all day, being dragged into work, well-concealed by loose scrubs and a kind smile, to the hospital cafeteria, clipped in by the seatbelt and backContinue reading “The hump is over”

Feelings

I am so glad I didn’t have to wake up and go to work this morning. In fact, I woke up, did a long wee (even as a doctor I still feel awe at the bladder’s ability to stretch) and went straight back to bed for more restless, jumbled dreams about R-, people from myContinue reading “Feelings”

A-break-ening

I love Saturday mornings where I wake up with a buzz to drink coffee and write. Saturdays are starkly different to what they once were. My safe space has downsized from a three-bed-semi to a compact room in my uncle’s house where the study desk doubles up as a dressing table and, on rare occasion,Continue reading “A-break-ening”

R- efresh

Home is me, home is me, home is me. Remember this. Reading the last post as a witness to my own innocence and purity of love hits a nerve that plunges me into deep sadness, if only for a moment. Seeing the Gowri with nothing but love to give, to seal all the cracks, toContinue reading “R- efresh”

Home

Sunday evening and I find myself nursing a lukewarm decaf latte in a Starbucks about 10 miles away from my home. Before collecting my drink I paid a visit to the loo and wound up with wet culotte pants from floor water which I ended up crouching under the disabled bathroom hand dryer trying toContinue reading “Home”

Defiant

I have been so scared to open my heart here again since the safe space I created for myself did not exist in my mind for a long while. I know that there is only one way back: to write. In 2020 I’ve written the most I’ve ever written in my life. Privately. In journalsContinue reading “Defiant”

Joy

Here is a list of things that have been bringing me absolute joy as of late. Absolutely perfect evenings in England; cloaked in liquid sunshine, like honey trickling through leafy canopies, saturating the air with warmth. Feeling really stressed and pent up, then going for a run (preferably on one such aforementioned evening) and experiencingContinue reading “Joy”